The Fourth Trimester

So the first trimester we are simply exhausted. Turning a single cell into brains, arms, veins, bones, skin and all that other important stuff takes a lot out of a girl. I basically spent the whole first trimester napping on my couch. The second trimester is always every one's favorite. The bump starts showing, the scariest part (the first 12 weeks) is over, usually the words gets out, you become less tired and you find out the gender and go shopping! The third trimester you're starting to get over this whole incubating a tiny human deal. Everything gets huge, you're waddling, everyone keeps asking you when you're having your baby already and you're probably wondering the same. Then the horrifying, messy miracle of birth finally arrives! Welcome to the Fourth Trimester.

This term was made popular by Dr. Harvey Karp Author of Happiest Baby on the Block and inventor of the 5 S's. It's all about the first three months of a baby's life and how it really should be looked at more as a fourth trimester of pregnancy. A transition period for Mom and Baby to get used to the drastic change from an inside to outside baby.

My fourth trimester so far has been a whirlwind, as can be expected. Last night, my lil' guy wasn't feeling great, he wasn't taking to eating too much and his cries were more shrill and hurt sounding. So after our settling down nighttime routine, we were laying in bed, tummy to tummy. I was reminded of the nights I laid there staring at my belly and the little bumps and rolls made by a moving and shaking inside Jesse. I was taken back to wondering what he would look and sound like. Wondering how a contraction felt and when they would finally start. The concept of the 'Fourth Trimester' is mainly focused on the baby and how to comfort him in the transition, but as I shush and swing him side to side, I'm realizing how much of a transition I am going through as well.

I have learned to sleep in 3 hour blocks of time. I have racked up miles of walking around my house. I have gotten used to spending very long periods of time in my house and grossly in the same clothes. I have learned how to do almost anything with one hand (including laundry, making dinner and tidying up the house). I have learned how important iron and blood cells are to ones body (the hard way) and I have learned the unmatchable love a mother has for her child.

My body has stretched and changed to house a 7lb 5oz human. It had the strength to push him out of my body and the smarts to start making milk to feed him. Jesse and I have mastered the in's and out's of breastfeeding and continue to succeed. It's incredible that my body has just learned to change and grow when I needed it to. It's even more incredible to look at my now deflated belly on it's way back to flat and tight and think of how my smiling little boy once fit in there.

I truly believe that the first three months of a baby's life outside the womb is just as big of a change for them as it is for the moms. It takes some learning about each other and getting used to this new life, getting our bodies back to somewhat normal, and changing our priorities. 10 weeks in and I'm starting to see the light. I'm starting to see the life ahead of us glide into a pattern. Starting to feel normal in our daily routine and letting go of the first time parent fear at every movement or sound he makes. I get it now, the way life will be from now on. It absolutely takes time to see past the screaming, the moments of panic, to see over the piles of piles of dirty clothes and recover from the pains of birth and nursing. Life does return to something you recognize one day. Only permanently changed by an amazing and beautiful person that you have made and will love for the rest of your life. It's just that fourth trimester of pregnancy that is the hardest of them all and once you get through that, you can do anything.

Jesse and Mommy

Jesse and Daddy

See what I mean...?

So I figured out the problem...s!

#1 I have an infant who is very spoiled... I mean... loved.
#2 Blogging comes right after cleaning the house in my order of importance these days. (see below)
#3 The computer is in our bedroom where there is no good place for Jesse to hang out, so I'm never up there. I will talk to Matt about rearranging things so that the computer is downstairs in the living room.

That being said, I have a few moments to catch up.

Eating: He is up to 10lbs 8oz as of his last doctors appointment last Monday. We are still going about 3 hours between meals. Last night was great with a wopping 6 hours. I pumped 6oz while he was sleeping and he ate every last drop when he woke up. I'm drinking Mother's Milk tea to try to keep up with Jesse's growing belly. Jesse is also taking some anti-acid medicine twice a day to help with some minor reflux issues. He seems to yak just about the same amount as he did before, but he is more comfortable laying on his back, and can sleep better.

Sleeping: We are starting to hit a breakthrough I think. Three times in the past few days, I have laid him down while he was wide awake, and he has silently slipped off to sleep on his own! A remarkable difference from the constant walking until he is in a deep sleep, laying him down gently and praying he doesn't realize you ever stopped holding him. This could mean miraculous things for me, a little more time, and a little less crying around the house! (but let's not scare it away since it's still very new...)

Playing: Yes! This is recently a new thing too, going hand in hand with the whole, not crying if he realizes he's not being held phenomenon. I laid him down under his jungle animal toys and he batted them around for a good 20 minutes or so instead of just staring at things.

Me!: I'm still not working out yet, but I'm doing the normal human amount of walking, laundry basket carrying, grocery shopping type of physical activity which is an improvement! I really love hearing about the amount of weight I've lost from people who haven't seen me in a while (since I was a 9 month pregnant whale). Which is also great to hear because I'm eating almost constantly. I burn so many calories from all of the breastfeeding, I need to stuff more food in my mouth to keep up!

I read an amazing article this morning. Here's the link to it: Don't Carpe Diem. I'm just going to share my favorite part.

"I think parenting young children (and old ones, I've heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they've heard there's magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it's hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up."

This is quite possibly one of the best analogies for parenting I've ever read. The article is actually about how older ladies in the grocery store always say "Oh, enjoy EVERY moment, it goes so fast." And how more than half the time, you wish those screaming moments would in fact go by so fast, but they don't. And this doesn't make you a bad parent. It's more about seizing the precious moments (however few and far between they seem some days).

While I was reading about this wonderful idea, I was actually doing just that. I had fed Jesse last night at 9:30 and we headed to bed. Everyone slept until 3, and then went right back to bed. The next feeding wasn't until 8, so we had almost 10 hours of sweet sleep, with only about 45 minutes in the middle for nursing. I was so well rested that after 8, we went downstairs and played in that jungle toy. He was laying there smiling, batting around the little zebra and hippo and I was brewing my tea and checking facebook. We were just enjoying the morning until he started to get a little fussy. Now I was prepared to walk him and hear screaming for about another hour (like every other morning) but after putting some laundry in and walking for about 4 minutes, he was out! And the rest of my morning has been so peaceful, it's been so very nice.

As I mentioned before, here is the list of my priorities these days:

Jesse (feeding, changing, getting to sleep)
Eating
Sleeping
Checking Facebook
Showering
Laundry
Grocery Shopping
Breathing/Relaxing/Wine
FaceTiming People
Catching Up On DVR
Basic Cleaning (the house)
Blogging
Art/Craft Projects
Organizing/Big Cleaning Projects
Extra Physical Activities
Syncing My Phone
Looking Good/Going Out

And last but not least, here are two teaser pictures from our adorable photo shoot!






And here are a few more cute Instagram pictures!

2 Months Later!

I never really understood how badly time gets away from you when you have baby. The last few weeks of my pregnancy went by SO slowly and I was so prepared- or so I thought. But once you have that little bundle of joy, there are things, small, simple things- calling someone back, mailing a letter or picking up a perscription- that you mean to get done one day, and before you know it, the day is over and you promise to do it the next day. Then you turn around and it's been a month. What?!

On Monday, Jesse will be 8 weeks old and from the outside it looks like I've been sitting around in the same Pj's, but a lot has happened with us. So let's grab that swiffer duster for my blog and see what happened these past weeks.


Eating: Those first few days when my milk hadn't come in seems so simple now looking back on it. I only had to just try and that was enough. Then my milk came in on day 3 or 4 and it seemed like I was in business. There was only one little problem. Jesse was tounge-tied. You know that little piece that attatches your tounge to the bottom of your mouth? Jesse's was so close to the tip of his tounge that he couldn't even stick his tounge out(something we found was genetic- thanks short tounge!). We were quickly sent to an ENT to fix the problem (an easy, quick procedure they said). Well quick and easy was an understatement. The doctor came in, noticed Jesse was asleep, opened up his mouth to take a peek and SNIP! It was done. Of corse Jesse woke up screaming and of corse I was horrified and on the verge of running to find him some pain meds. The doctor told us to try nursing (because when I get a serious mouth injury, the first thing I want to do is try to eat...) Jesse was a little upset so we didn't get much nursing done, but it was surprisingly quickly healed and now he sticks his tounge out all the time!
Lately, we've been doing well, fighting to keep my supply up enough for my growing boy, but I seem to be making just enough these days. There is that 5-10 seconds of latching before my milk lets down that are pillow gripingly painful, but then he's drinking and I'm so happy I can do this for him and all I have to do is sit there while he drinks, plus this is when I get my snuggles in. I notice little changes in his face, brush through his little hairs with my fingers, hold his soft little hand. (you can't cry if you're busy drinking, so it's also a nice break from the fussy sounds he seems to make a lot.)

Sleep: We thank our lucky stars at least once a day that we both have the winter off. We are constantly wondering how working parents function at all. And I seem to think we have a great sleeper! I can't imagine having a colicky, fussy baby all night and then getting up to work for 8 hours, 5 days a week. No thank you!
He usually wakes up around 7 or 8 to eat and likes to stay awake afterwords. Sitting up and looking around at our curtains with big stripes or big pictures on the walls. He might take a nap somewhere between 10 and 12. It's usually a shorter nap. The long two naps he takes are usually around 4 and 6 and last until we head to bed around 10, and then sleeps for a good 5 hour chunk after that. And usually he is really great at falling asleep with a full belly. Usually. Now there are nights (like last night, for instance) where he wakes up every 3 hours and cries for an hour... I'm blaming it on growth spurts.
Jesse is also really great with noises around him while he's sleeping. Everyone who comes over while he's asleep always starts off whispering and I'm like, we can talk normally, he doesn't even notice.

Our travles! Anyone who is facebook friends with me most likely followed us on our Meet Jesse! Holiday Tour 2011. We decided to spend 8 days traveling through 5 states and showing off our amazing little guy to our friends and family. We spent a few days in our hometown near Frederick, Maryland, a night in Cumberland, MD, a few nights in Cleaveland, OH (which is 13 hours from NC!). We spend a total of 22 hours on the road over the 8 days we were gone. Good thing Jesse is great in car rides- pretty much sleeps the whole time. Poor thing was probably so sick of his carseat by the time we got home. We really should have taken a picture, but we had SO much in our car. Matt, Jesse and I each had a suitcase, we had the diaper bag, a bag for my breastpump/nursing stuff, blankets and pillows, the stroller and of course we unexpectidly got presents everywhere we went, had presents we had to wrap and give people for Christmas, and a few bags of stuff we just went shopping for while we were out.

ME! So, my pregnancy was wonderful, my labor was pretty great as far as labors go, somewhere I had to get my payback right? Recovery. Something I rarely have ever had to deal with. The first week was the hardest, not being able to walk (my wonderful mother in law spent my whole 15 minutes of pushing jamming my leg into my hip- with perfectly good intentions of course!) I have almost needed a blood transfuion because my iron was so low, I could barely stand up without getting really dizzy and I'm still working on walking without a waddle. It's coming up on 8 weeks now and I'm just now starting to feel normal. I'm starting to wear jeans that button and zip, a bra with wire and wearing my hair down occasionally. I've lost 27 pounds since giving birth and just got the OK to start working out again! As my Midwife said, we are on the upswing. Finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel of this crazy recovery process.

I'm shocked that I've actually had this much time to write this, but now it's time to feed Jesse again! I hope that brings us up to speed, and I'll try to post a liiiitle more often than every 2 months...

Picture post to come when Jesse takes his next nap (hopefully, it might not get done until tomorrow though....).

Wow....

Wow guys.... I win laziest blogger award.... Baby life is crazy. If I have a free moment for myself, I'm usually trying to put food in my belly, pee, or take a nap... But I'll find time to update very soon, I promise!